2. There are Banksy ghosts in your house that create masterpieces on your walls, although perhaps not with the same political connotations.
3. The only hot young girl/boy you get into your bedroom is a toddler with a fever.
4. It would take a CSI team a week to check all the sticky finger prints that cover every surface in the house including your laptop, fridge and best pair of trousers
5. You can recall just from a person’s post code which schools they are in the catchment area for, the Ofsted rating and the length of the waiting list.